I'm #20

subtitled: will you still love me if I lose my hair?

For ten years I have refused treatment. The common side effects are too risky, too potentially devastating and the outcomes just not good enough yet.

One of the blessings of this germ, is the time that it allows. But after almost 30 years, I'm feeling it. The labs continue to worsen and this germ is impacting the quality of my life. I struggle to get through most days.

I still don't WANT to take the meds. I still wonder if I can work and take care of my children. I worry most about the psychiatric implications of interferon/ribavirin, the depression and rage, etc

I told my God about my worries and confessed my stubbornness. I told him that if it is his will for me to take the drugs that it would probably take a "burning bush" in order for me to hear him.

One month ago it was announced that the FDA had approved trials on the use of protease inhibitors in treating HCV. I've heard that 400 world-wide and twenty from our community would be selected for this trial. I did my research, I prayed, I said to my heavenly father, "if I am offered this opportunity" I will take this step. The odds were slim to nuthin!

On Monday, I went in to get my lab results and schedule my biopsy....
She said to me........."there's a new trial........it was full.......today one of the participants opted out......there's one spot available........do you want it?"

Please remember us in your prayers. specially the girls.
Remember today also, Ellas and Prior.