Praise God!

God willing in ten days I will be cancer free!

(AND on morphine!)

(can i get an "amen"????!!!)

A Cheater???!!! Moi?????

I was accused of being a "cheater" the other day in our office weight loss contest - "Biggest Loser"
Between the interferon, and the liquid diet imposed by the painful tooth and now, surgery...

I laughed as I replied, "if my primary motivation in all this was to lose weight, I'd have gone for the radiation/chemo option" (On the other hand, if I win a free lunch on the others and my recent medical issues are part of the equation.........................hehe!!!!)

Smiley Girl!!!

I slept the entire night last night!!! Praise God!!

I had a root canal today!!! Praise the Lord!!!
(I'm really looking forward to eating!!)

Then yesterday, two seperate comments stating that I "looked like" a lawyer and that I "looked like" I was married??!!!!
(I'm not either) (lol)
When I inquired as to what the latter meant, the response was, "Well, you look happy."
HUH?????!!!!!!!!

Thoughts on Teeth.........

I can hardly open my mouth, seems like my jaw is locking up

As a result, I had to cancel my appointment with the (regular) dentist today.

Fortunately the endo called and they had a cancellation tomorrow morning.

Praying that this piece will be completed soon. (the pain has improved somewhat)

My personal opinion at this point in time is that Paul's "thorn in his flesh" was a toothache!

For Females Only

Today, I started menstruating.

For the last time.

I'm not quite sure how to deal with this knowledge.
Part of me is okay with it.
Part of me is weird about it.

But to know that it is the definitive end is kinda strange.

Philippians 4:19

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

With God All Things are Possible

Amazed, overwhelmed, blessed................the words aren't sufficient.

Yesterday, I was meeting with the boss on some business related matters. She asked if I knew yet, my schedule for the surgery.

I shared with her that pre-op is scheduled for June 21st and that June 20th would be my last day in the office; surgery is Monday, June 25th; I will be in the hospital three to five days and that the the doctor said recovery time is expected to be six to eight weeks. (though she will consider the POSSIBILITY of allowing me to return on a part-time basis after four weeks).

I asked wonderful boss, if she would consider allowing tech support to set up remote access from my home computer to our business, as it would be much easier if I could initially work from home. WB agreed.

I suggested to her that it was time to make an official announcement to staff and director's (they will probably notice that I'm gone for two months). WB then inquired as to how much sick/vacation time I have available. I told her that I probably had less than 40 hours remaining, as I have been using time for doctor appointments up to three times a week since January.

I started crying when WB told me that she would send out an Email to staff offering them the opportunity to donate sick or vacation time. We would discuss the balance at a later date.

Due to another dentist appointment, I didn't get to the office til almost 9:30 this morning. First order of business is to check my Emails, schedule and phone messages. There was the Email to staff, the next was a reply from K, asking to donate a week. At about 9:35 WB informed me that within 20 minutes of sending the Email, three weeks had been donated. At 1:10 she informed me that I now have 8 weeks of donated sick time. 5 minutes later, I was meeting with our CFO. A staff member rushed in stating that he had been in meetings all morning and hadn't had time to reply to the request. "Could I still donate a week, and you can give some time back to the others?" CFO smiled at me.......... "see? everybody wants to be in on this". The generosity is overwhelming.

So often in my life, God has shown up wearing "people clothes".
All praise to Father, Son and Spirit. Amen.

Surgery Scheduled

Pre-Op is the 21st and surgery 6/25. (Jupiter Medical Center)
Pat said to expect to be in the hospital three to five days! I didn't think anyone stayed in the hospital that long anymore!
Mom is coming down to help the girls while I am in the hospital.

Speaking of which............Nel and Angie started their summer jobs yesterday. They are working 9am to 6pm as junior counselor's for our company's summer camp program. Yesterday AND today they both walked home for lunch, which they thought was pretty cool. I do too!

:-)

My Life

I got to see two dentists yesterday, and have half of a root canal!
(emergency visit)

sigh!

lol

My polka dots are fading :-)

(big red circles from interferon injections)

The "C" word

It's quite interesting how others respond to the "C" word.

It seems the typical scenario goes something like this:
First there's a long pause, a hesitancy, as though they are weighing HOW to reply. I have even found myself in the position of reassuring. I'm not so special or unique. I'm not a victim. Every day people deal with cancer.

It's okay to say the word, it's okay to talk about cancer, It's not a death sentence and even if it were, we can still enjoy today. We can still have joy. We can even LAUGH together.

There is blessing, even here!
Praise God in all things.

Wednesday

Today, I just felt like smiling at folk.

Today. A few moments and a kiss shared with my favorite guy and his wife (hehe).

Beautiful Nel

My Nel

This morning, my teen asked me if I was gonna go off my anti-depressant now that I'm no longer taking the interferon........................

Well, if I have any say in the matter, the answer is NO!!!

Think I'd like the opportunity to use them during the cancer stuff, ya know??

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Dear Family and Friends,

I just got back from my clinic (Hep C). I was "the problem child" this morning. In fact, I have been discontinued from the drug trial because of the new diagnosis of cancer. I'm a bit emotional right now as I was hoping to finish the study............wondering why I've had to be so sick the last 10 weeks and then have to quit.
I trust my Abba Father in every detail of my life. He has the answers that I do not. He sees what I cannot. He is Good. He is God.

LOL........I'm looking forward to getting some chores and laundry done this weekend! Since I won't be taking an interferon injection on Friday my energy level should be better.
PET/CT scan on Tuesday.

Praise Him in all things!

Dawn

Oncologist

The doctor spent almost three hours with me today.

There will be further tests before we can determine if surgery is an option. Plan B would be radiation therapy with chemo.

CT/PET scan is next Tuesday.

I love yer prayers!!!!!!!
God is good. He is faithful.

I Shoulda Took a Picture!

Very frequently, enroute to the schools, one of us will observe that the teen and tween are wearing the same color shirts............ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, they both came out yelling, "Mom, tell her to change!!!!!!!!!"
"I was dressed first"
"but I had mine picked out last night!"
They were both wearing above the knee skinny denim cut-offs and the same hoodie sweatshirt from AE.

Nobody changed (after all they are at different schools), but their mom started her day with a chuckle.

PTL!!! I'm a Loser! :-)

I shoulda kept the "skinny jeans" (lost 13 pounds in 10 weeks and so far I've kept my hair!)

LOL.............. I pulled one over on my co-workers...........they finally decided to revisit the "biggest loser" game................and I'm winning!

sick, rested all weekend.
18 more injections. Oncologist on Wednesday.

Praise Him in all things.

The Week in Review!

Most days, it's a chore to journal anymore.
Though, the thoughts and prayers are on my heart.
Earlier this week, I was contemplating this journey. For so many years, I prayed for God to wave his magic wand and just make this germ go away.

He chose not to, and I am realizing that even in this there is peace, there is sanctification. There is gratitude for the lessons being lived. A tempering of faith that would not have happened if the miracle had been an instantaneous healing. I'm too tired to move, but instead of complaining, I LOOK into the faces of others around me. I wonder what their journey is. I smile a bit longer at the bank teller and thank her by name.

The drugs create symptoms and sensations in my body, instead of being frustrated, I understand, these weird things going on are proof of my healing. I thank God.

On Wednesday, a call from my gynecologist - cervical cancer.
Father God, I am really, really certain that this is just TOO much.
I am still in the processing (grieving) of this new news.

Please pray for us. Please pray for my girls.

A Quickie......

Surgery went well on Friday. Some pain, been in bed most of the weekend. Pathology report should be back in about a week.

Had clinic on Friday, as of 6 week bloods, my viral load was at 1,230. (At the beginning of the trial it was at 1.3 million, and at 4 weeks was at 80,000. I started protease inhibitor at 4 weeks.)

Praise the Lord. Praise him in all things.