ANewDayDawns

Frog Legs Anyone???

2012-01-21T01:38:00.000-05:00

Tonight it was a night "on the town" in beautiful Fellsmere, FL. Angela volunteered at the annual Frog Leg Festival as did many from the tennis team.
My fair food of choice is Italian sausage sandwich with fried onions and peppers and NOT fried frogs legs. Unfortunately, my tasters have been "off" for many months (meds perhaps?) and once again eating was difficult.

Without a doubt, the most entertaining part of the evening was not the "performer from Nashville" but Angela's adventure with the frog. She is terrified of them. In one photo I couldn't decide if she was posing to kiss it or to take a bite!!! It was worth the $20.00 to watch her overcome her fear.

I took the cane and not the walker and although I was slow, I was there for almost two hours! (HUGE!)Pain pills were involved.

Consider This a "Kick in the Arse"

2011-01-16T17:04:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to get back to journaling on this blogger account for a couple of months now. Of course I've aquired several new excuses to justify the delay. Today that stops. I can no longer use the "I'm too busy" rationale; (however I do have a tendency to fall asleep ON the computer these days!)

I've several DRAFT pages which will help me to fill in some of the blanks. For now, I'll just thank those who took time to pray, call, send cards or gifts and who visited while I was in the hospital. God has shown His grace and mercy through you!

Thank you.

The Good Things!

2010-10-10T17:49:00.000-04:00

It was sometime about midnight when the phone rang. Those who know me don't even bother to call anywhere near that late. I was in bed. I was not asleep yet. The late ringing wasn't a disturbance, I almost smiled as I reached for the phone. Hoping.

"Hello"
A far-away sounding voice replied, "F-L-O-R-I-D-A-S-T-A-T-E. Florida State, Florida State, Florida State, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It seems that I miss her more on game nights, it's not nearly as much fun for me without her laughing and crying and screaming and dancing and pacing. She'll never know just how much that midnight phone call meant to her momma. The fact that we beat UM 45 to 17 was just the icing on the cake, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Day that Uncle Chad Found "Papers" in Angela's Make-Up Bag...

2010-08-08T15:51:00.001-04:00

And what was he doing in her make-up bag anyways???!!!

(just in case you're wondering, they are Sephora brand blotting papers and her make up bag is exactly where they should be!)

Fifteen....

2010-05-30T11:13:00.000-04:00

is beautiful!

Spring Break 2010

2010-03-12T17:36:00.001-05:00

This is a single mom's version of a "VACATION" day:
take Jhinel to dentist; while she is getting her cleaning/check-up, Starbucks run - cause I know this one's gonna be "a doozy"; fill up car and check air in the tires; pick up girl from dentist; auto parts store for new windshield wiper blades; Walgreens for passport photos; Dad's for a kiss; county government office so Nel can submit her passport application. THEN wash car; lunch; Jhinel to doctor; post office; me to oncologist; county animal care and control for cat licenses; home to pick up Angela and Alana; Dad and Nancy's for dinner; grocery store so that Nel and Alana can bake a pink cake before Jhinel heads back to college. I can ONLY take so many of these "days off" - LOL!!!

Hoping that you see the blessings in THIS day!

Datenight 01/31/2010

2010-02-03T01:07:00.000-05:00

NFL Probowl...... and yes, her man, "Peyton" was there!

Miami - this Sunday!!

2010-01-28T00:17:00.002-05:00

I won't need a TV for the NFL Pro-bowl and Angela can wear her Christmas gift as well......

AVKD

2010-01-07T10:33:00.000-05:00

Ang and I had the most interesting discussion about the literature of William Shakespeare and evolution of the English language. Actually she did most of the talking. The conversation was wonderful. The fact that it was with MY baaaaaaaabeeeeeeeeeeeee is kinda freaky!

God is Good.

Happy January!

2010-01-07T10:18:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I did something really bizarre for me last week. REALLY. The kinda thing that makes my girls shake their head in bewilderment and say, "who's taken over mom's body cause she would never ever do that!".

I bought a television.

This is unusual on several accounts.
First, I dont particularly care for or watch TV. Yes, I love my news shows, Marlin's baseball and Seminoles football, but even so, I can become a poor steward of time ---fancy way of saying "couch potato".
Secondly, this is the type of purchase that I'm inclined to spend months researching and budgeting in advance. I almost never impulse buy, except at the grocery store.
Finally, I've never, ever, ever bought a television. I actually have a TV that I acquired during a divorce, I wanted the grill, I got the TV (ha!) - We use this for "movie night" to play CD's and DVD's and for the wii system.

So, I still had not found a suitable place to watch the gator bowl. I was considering some local sports bar/restaurants but would rather not take my girls into that environment. So, yesterday I finally decided that I would pick up one of those HD converter boxes for my TV. I ended up walking out with an actual new television. I totally messed up my budget but I can watch Bobby's last game from the comfort of my own living room. It will be so nice to watch a game with Jhinel again, obviously she's home on winter break. This afternoon there will be loud laughter, pacing, lots of screaming and jumping, hopefully not too much nail biting. There will probably be tears as we watch the end of an era. We will teach a three year old the proper way to scream at at football game and the 'nole chant.

Yeah, I messed up the budget with this purchase because I didn't account for a new TV this month. I can "justify this purchase" because the SALE price really made it doable, also I save money by staying home today and I didn't have to buy the box, etc., etc. (see how that works?!)
Instead of "buyer's remorse" I'm filled with excitement, THE TRUTH IS THIS..............I've saved the amount of MORE than two TV's by not smoking for over three months!!! How cool is THAT!?

T.V. will come in handy during baseball season too.

Smile. Smile. Smile!

2009-12-29T22:55:00.002-05:00

It's 10:30 p.m. on my coast. In my living room are four college girls, a kid sister and a wii. They are all in PJ's, I hear their laughter. I am whelmed over with joy, peace, happy.

The last time that they were all together was their high school graduation and "little krupa" was considered a nuisance. In just a matter of weeks, she's grown taller than two and has physically matured in a way that none of the others were prepared for (yet). Tonight she is invited to be part of their group. I am glad to have them home, even though the visits are brief these days.

THIS is the bucket list.

They Call it "Hump Day"?!

2009-12-16T10:58:00.002-05:00

At 8:00 a.m. this morning I was quite thoroughly enjoying one poached egg with a toasted slice of fresh rye bread (seeded, of course) accompanied by Susan Boyle's beautiful voice (don't even ask, just go buy the CD). The perfect way to start a day.
Except that my day had actually started at 5:00 a.m. when I threw on sweats and sneakers and walked 4 miles to the beach and back with Wally. Life is good. God is good!!!

P.S. Michael G. from my hometown noted that at 6:00 a.m. this morning he was putting oil in the snowblower! hehe

"Totally Random"

2009-12-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

Glad that I got to attend a game that Bobby coached
Proud of my girls
Procrastinating writing an updated version of my testimony
Hoping that I don't have an accident today and have to go to the hospital (cause i really really really need to go underwear shopping)
Waiting for myNel to get home and decorate the Christmas tree (she asked)
God is good

Why God Created Aunts!

2009-11-18T08:19:00.001-05:00

ummmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm

2009-11-11T12:32:00.004-05:00

I had the opportunity to hit the "snooze button" a couple of times this morning.

I finally awakened with the realization that my spirit was singing.
Now, it wasn't my voice, and it wasn't that "gotta song stuck in my head" but an actual singing in my spirit.
I knew a sublime joy, then heard the lyrics to the song and outright laughed.
"Hallelujah! What a savior!
I owe everything to Him
Hallelujah what a savior
Hallelujah to my king"
over and over and over again.

(Oh what peace the spirit of Jesus brings
through the trials He will carry me
One day in Heaven our eyes will meet
Filled with wonder, all the saints will sing
Hallelujah! What a savior..........)

2009-11-11T10:44:00.002-05:00

Gramma's Acting Like a Two Year Old???!!!

2009-11-10T09:43:00.002-05:00

Mammo #1
Mammo #2
Ultra Sound.
Call from the Pat..................re do in three to six months.

I am sooooooooo not in the mood for THIS!
Perhaps if I stomp my foot or whine God will let me have things MY way????

God is GOOD......

mY lIFE sEEMS wEIRDER aLL tHE tIME

2009-11-10T09:38:00.002-05:00

Sunday I cooked. (Those of you who are familiar with my lifestyle or have read my blog are laughing, I know!) Home made lentil soup and chicken salad.
Monday I MADE my lunch and actually remembered to bring it to work with me.
Today, I COOKED breakfast AND made my lunch AND actually remembered to bring it to work with me AND I was at the office by 8:15.
Dang........next thing ya know I'll be working out again.

GOD IS GOOD...................

Thanks for Letting Me Go

2009-10-31T00:39:00.004-04:00

Tonight a surprise visit from Jhinel and Emilio.
"aren't you supposed to be in Tallahassee?!"
Pizza. "catching up"
"I'm glad you let me go, mom"
She was a momma's girl, overprotected perhaps and overprotective definitely! She remembers things her kid sister doesn't; she helped to raise an infant niece for a time, she worried as she saw her older sister make dangerous choices. My interferon treatments and Cancer made her too responsible, these things are compounded when your mom is a single.

I knew that she needed to go away to college, I wanted her to have the opportunity to "act her age" and learn life on her own terms. As I hear these words, "I'm glad you let me go" I remind her that I MADE her go away to college.

that's not what she meant.
and then I'm glad too. It's hard letting go of one whom you love so very much. I won't alway's approve of her choices in life, sometimes I'll know better ways. I think the best that I do now is to trust her to make her own choices and to let her know that she is loved - no matter what.

And to pray mother prayers.

First Weekend Home

2009-10-30T23:22:00.005-04:00

(finally) this week is done.

after a thirteen hour day today, and a much too busy and long week, tonight I came home and crashed..........

on the couch,

in my jammies....

a very aggressive and persistent knock on the door...WHAT??!!!

I open it to find my Nel!

she decided to surprise us
a seven hour trip on a bus for her first weekend home from college.

I am truly blessed. Thank you, Father.

October 10, 2009

2009-10-28T14:21:00.001-04:00

Tallahassee

Friday Night

2009-10-03T01:18:00.000-04:00

AT 12:21 a.m. southbound on I-95, me with wet pants and Angii half dressed, she noted the numerical palindrome. I tellya!!! I'm BLESSED!!

That was the ending of an unusual and wonderful day.

Plan A was that I would be out of town attending an Emmaus Walk.

Plan B was that we would be enroute to a camping trip with our church family.

There was no Plan C. But I had already scheduled the day off from work, so I fiqured I might as well schedule that mammogram. After that I went over to the lab for my "annual" blood/urine. filled up the tank then "swung by" the nail place where i used to go to......no line. got a pedi. Ran over to the optometrist to schedule an eye exam and they had an opening then. ALL this before NOON. wow!

Home for lunch and a nap.

I'd gotten an email from a texas girlfriend that she was going to be in town for a couple of days.......was going to a favorite dive in the old town.........We met for wings and a beer. a dozen or so of us, some we hadnt seen in a couple of years, others became new acquaintances. And of course, we "ran into" several others along the way. I asked Angii if she wanted to take a ride over to the beach.......as we were saying our good-byes, others decided to join us on that favorite beach. It ended up being a "best friday night", it was amazing how almost perfect strangers felt like friends. And that is how I ended up with wet pants, and Angii half dressed driving down the interstate at 12:21 a.m.

NOTE to self: next time you go out to dinner with susan, bring bathing suit, towel and bug spray.

Not My Usual.............but a must see!!!

2009-09-30T10:15:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMyp8y8SkUM

Sleeping with the Bear!

2009-09-17T10:10:00.007-04:00

Yep. I'm 49 and a half years old and I sleep with a teddy bear.

It just dawned on me a couple of days ago (get it? "dawned") (Angii would call that one a "knee slapper" - ha!) ANYWAYS, I am sharing my bed with a very large teddy bear.

Apparently, amidst the sorting and cleaning and packing and purging of "stuff", Jhinel's teddy bear found it's way into my bed. Maybe he was deemed too valuable for the space sacks or to be crammed into a box. Of course the new bear from her boyfriend is the one that took the trip to Tally.

The realization brought a reminisce. It was a gift from her God-father. Was it birthday? Christmas? Angii's baptismal? I don't quite remember. What I do remember is that the gift was considerably larger than the child.

He never really was a "pretty" bear nor fanciful by any stretch of the imagination, but he was always squishy. Many others have come and gone. "Dependable" or "reliable" would be good descriptors, "always there in a pinch". "Comfy" another. To me he's also symbolic of the love of the giver, geographically he may be far away, nonetheless "always there". That's real friendship.

Our lives have been blessed with a few real comfy folk.

Thank you, Father.

I Love Her So Much

2009-09-16T10:11:00.004-04:00

Abizillion mom's have done it before
there are just some days that I truly want to call her and say, "It was all a joke, you can come home now" ("PLEASE come home now!!!!")

This life is such an intriguing journey.

P.S. The kid sister WASN'T the drama queen of the family afterall. hahahahahaha!

Blonde's Really Do Have Fun...

2009-09-16T10:09:00.002-04:00

A minor crisis if you will, she thought that her "car floss" would last to infinity. It didn't.

Yay Me!

2009-09-10T19:22:00.000-04:00

Don't have to go back to the oncologist for SIX months!!!!

Alana's Visit

2009-09-04T08:53:00.002-04:00

If two aunts aren't there, she always asks.
But this time she didn't.(quite odd)

Finally I could stand it no more and I asked Alana why she hadn't asked where her aunt Jhinel was. She quite simply responded, "Nel's at school, grandma", and that was exactly right.

However at bedtime it was quite a different story. Alana became so worried because a bed was missing from "Angii's room". I guess she thought that her Nel was at the pre-school and would be coming home to sleep.

September 3, 2009

2009-09-04T08:42:00.004-04:00

She is just barely eighteen
She called
The words that came out of her mouth were,
"Do you want me to send you a check?"

HUH?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW did that happen?!!!

That simple question is affecting me in a huge way.
I didnt expect it yet. That brief question told me that she is much wiser than I knew, it showed me that she has understanding, respect, accountability.

a REAL phone call

2009-09-02T09:06:00.002-04:00

it was kinda lateish

I answered the phone because it was Nel, an advantage of caller ID.

She was doing homework. Reading an article. written by a prof from the college that I graduated from.

"Who", I ask.
"Weener" or "Whiner" "I'm not sure how to pronounce it"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
really........WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!
what are the chances that 20ish years later my girl in Florida is assigned to read an article from my prof in NY?

I tell her that he was one of my advisors, I babysat his son, I volunteered with his wife. Jhinel has heard me talk of him before though I'd never mentioned his name, "Remember THAT story....that was Weiner".

We shared a smile over the phone.
I'm glad she called and didn't email it.

"by the way, it's pronounced winer"

:-)

"Weird"

2009-09-02T08:57:00.002-04:00

kid is delivered to a bus stop. (They had a water gun fight sponsored by the admin yesterday on campus. yea SCHOOL!)
laundry's in
dishes are done
kitty litter box is cleaned
trash is out
lately i walk to work - early
the days of two hours of "mom's taxi service" are over.
this afternoon she will walk home from the bus stop and do her homework and chores

my life has changed.

2009-09-02T02:09:00.001-04:00

IT'S SOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING QUIET AT MY HOUSE!!!

Thanks Mr. Vandergaw!

2009-09-02T00:45:00.007-04:00

Last year, I found myself in the principal’s office.
Crying.

My beautiful, gifted daughter had been struggling in science class and had confided to me that she hated science. When she described her typical days in class I just could not comprehend and thus, I very purposefully marched into the school and imposed a meeting on the administration. Actual tears came from frustration, exasperation and anger. How do we do this? How do we take incredible, brilliant, fresh young minds and create monotony and mediocrity? I argued that ESPECIALLY in the middle school years our children should encounter fascination and passion for the natural world and the scientific experience. Perhaps some of my frustration in her experience was rooted in my own educational experience for I found myself reminiscing about one of my 7th grade teachers.

Thirty six years ago a young man with an exuberance and joy for life and teaching and students inspired me. Over the years I have on occasion thought of this teacher and it is always with fondness and a smile. He was that one who touched my life in the way that differentiates instructors from great teachers. I have wished for my own children to experience a teacher like him. I was a student of his briefly, at Diamond Mears Middle School. My family had moved to the “big city” from a more rural community half-way to Denali. And we would soon return to the “lower 48.” I didn’t want to leave Alaska and I didn’t want to leave Mr. Vandergaw’s science class. He had caught my attention and had made the mundane into an opportunity for learning. We knew that he loved Alaska and the outdoors, he conveyed a love for teaching and science, and he just gave you the impression that he CARED.

I came home from that meeting in the principal’s office at my daughter’s middle school and did a quick web-search. Whoa! A controversial celebrity was what I discovered, some condemning, some fervently supportive. A horrible comparison with another. Somehow, I don’t really think that he would be all that affected by the opinions or the controversy. I watched the show. I watched it because I just wanted to see my beloved seventh grade science teacher, I wanted reassurance. My attention was riveted to the man. The man on the TV is 70 now, a bit slower in his movement, more intentional. But it was still there! It’s in his words, it’s in his demeanor, it’s in his eyes! In the closing segments the interviewer admits that he was expecting something different (a crazy man perhaps) and he goes on to say “You’re a remarkable man, Charlie.”

Recently, I was packing another daughter off to college. As I was sorting through some old documents I came across the note. It was written shortly after my parents moved our family from Anchorage back to central New York. The brief letter was just a few simple sentences of encouragement written to a girl from Mr. Vandergaw.

I’ll be celebrating 50 soon. I’m a social worker in Florida of all places. Many days my work is heartbreaking, I work with the hope that if just one person’s burden is lightened then I’ll have achieved success. “If I make a difference in one person’s life……..”

“Charlie” Vandergaw is 70. I figured it was about time that I told him……..that he made a difference in my life. I figured it was about time that I thanked him.

This world would be a much finer place if we had a bunch more “Charlie Vandergaw’s” in it. And more of that light in his eyes. The love.

For The Record....

2009-09-01T14:30:00.004-04:00

Angii has now seen "water falls". She has also been outside of the state of Florida, has experienced a new time zone.caverns, cooking over a campfire (shrimp on the barbie!) and Smores. Only took her fourteen years!

PahhhhhhhhhTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

2009-07-29T01:17:00.002-04:00

I like the way we did THIS eighteenth birthday.
It started about midnight on the 28th with a Carvel ice cream cake and presents. It ended at close to midnight with friends and lazer bowling and a late dinner.

Happy Birthday, Jhinel

Today's Mail

2009-07-25T22:40:00.001-04:00

Jhinel got her voter registration card in the mail today.

cept she can't actually use it til Tuesday.

hehe

The Dilemma....

2009-06-29T09:52:00.000-04:00

The problem with dancing in the rain... is that ya show up to work soaking wet!!!!!

Life is Good!
God is Good!

O!

2009-06-29T09:30:00.001-04:00

BTW

Cancer free two years

PTL!!!!!

dang!

2009-06-28T17:15:00.001-04:00

just realized that i still haven't posted graduation or prom pictures.........

check out my facebook page for the photos.
AND pics of Alana and baby Walker.

A Girl with "TUDE"

2009-06-28T16:59:00.004-04:00

so.......................we're at City Place, parked, ticketed (movie, that is) and we still have some time until Jhinel and I see STAR TREK. 10:05 pm show. We decide to get a drink at Panera's. As we're waiting at the beverage bar for our drinks - green tea and a frozen lemonade TYVM! I notice that there is a college-aged looking young man and a father-aged looking gentleman standing a bit further down, where the food is prepared. I observe that the elder is wearing a grey T-shirt that says, "Georgia Tech". My girl is wearing an FSU T-shirt that says, "FEAR THE SPEAR". Jhinel and I comment amongst ourselves. I'm looking forward to a trip to Tally on October 10th, I have tickets for the FSU v. Georgia Tech football game at Campbell Doak Stadium.

Our drinks arrive and as we pass the "boys", my girl brazenly turns and says, "You're going downnnnnnn October 10th". I'm shocked that she actually did it. This IS the one that wouldn't ask for ketchup at McDonald's. I'm laughing sooooo hard. This is fun!

It took them a bit to figure out what this crazy girl was saying, but then they realized the shirts and shot back their own comments and we were ALL laughing.

Rev 3: 8a

2009-04-08T14:02:00.001-04:00

I know thy works: behold I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it...

JHINEL IS FUNNY

2009-04-02T14:01:00.002-04:00

ALL of the photo's from Tallahassee are of Campbell Doak Stadium. Funny girl.

She IM'd me!!!!

2009-03-30T09:36:00.002-04:00

(lol)

Nel just IMed me from Tallahassee. Silly girl.
Go practice being a college kid!!!

A friend suggested that I hook up skype when she leaves.
I will. I will also be mindful that this is a new season of letting her grow.

Sunday

2009-03-29T13:15:00.003-04:00

It's the most beautiful, rainy Sunday in south Florida.
The sauce is on.
Naptime!!

Today reminds me of when I was a child and we would go to Grandma's house after church, take our pretty dresses off and climb into her big bed in our slips to nap. (so as not to mess up our "good" clothes). Often dinner was home-made spaghetti with meatballs -- did jar sauce even exist?? Sometimes Uncle John's homemade kielbasa or Grandma's fresh pierogis or golumpki were the fare. But nothing compared to Grandma's homemade pies. Apple, lemon meringue, chocolate cream, banana cream, coconut cream. Warm memories.

She's (a bit) Off!!

2009-03-29T12:04:00.004-04:00

Jhinel left today for Tallahassee. She'll experience campus life for a few days. And although they, "can't stand each other", she and Angii sat next to each other in church this morning and were quite affectionate in that "teenaged sister, sibling rivalry" sorta way.

It feels like a trial run to me but I didn't cry.

DANCE!!!

2009-03-28T13:28:00.002-04:00

A Resounding "Yes!" to This One...

2009-03-18T07:47:00.002-04:00

I was awakened by some "stirrings" at 1:00 a.m.
Saw my girl coming down the hall, and told her to get to bed Puh-leeeeezzzzzzzz

She replied, "I got in"

My girl is a Seminole!
A neldream realized.

Yay!

Last Night's Dinner

2009-03-16T21:28:00.006-04:00

Last nights dinner was two slices of bread with (your choice, mayo or mustard) deli meats and cheese, a bottle of water, banana if you please or cheetos if you want. On a beach in the dark with family and a friend. It was waaayyyyyyyy kewl!!

oh! and there was a space shuttle involved too.
who forgot the flashlight in the car??

"The Phone Call"

2009-03-16T21:15:00.004-04:00

Sometimes our Father surprises us with such wonderful and special gifts. A friend who has meant so much, who has shared laughter and love and joy and pain is allowed back into our lives.
Father, help me to love more like you.
Help me to be a better friend this time.

and thank you.

Sometimes God Says, "Wait"

2009-03-12T14:04:00.008-04:00

I remember as a new mom, the excitement and joy at sharing the wonders of the world with this new precious and beloved lil person.

I remember feeling at times, that it was like a "do over" of my own childhood moments and yet even better because I was sharing it with my own child. It was as if we had "new eyes" to experience God's creation.

These days, she is anxiously awaiting so much. Colleges, scholarships, summer jobs. Fervent prayers envelop all of our graduating youth.

Last night an Email came. The dreamed of summer job. WAITLISTED. I see that wrinkled forehead look, the one that is disappointment, why wouldn't God want this for her?

I say it although she has heard it a million times, I say it even though she already knows it. I say it with tears in my heart for her. As the words come out, I wonder if it sounds rote, insensitive. "If it is God's will for you to be there this summer, you will be there. If it is not his will, then he has other plans for your life for this time. You can trust him". I'm not sure that it's enough. But it is all I have. It is who I am.

I have learned that God's will is better. He is faithful in all things. His grace is sufficient.

Sometimes we ask for things and His answer is yes.
Sometimes we ask for things and His answer is no.
Sometimes we ask for things and He says, wait.

I think the "wait" one is the hardest.
Ask, Seek, Knock.

we smiled together when a peer messaged the same response as I had conveyed (she has beautiful friends too). Sometimes you can hear it better when it's not your own mom.

It Bears Repeating...

2009-03-12T13:54:00.000-04:00

DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now.. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed;

I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you because I am alive. I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.

I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

God is just so good, and he's good all the time. THANK HIM.

Graffiti in My BATHROOM!!!!!!!

2009-03-12T13:43:00.004-04:00

Yeah, funny things happen at my house.
Blogs get "hacked" into and embarrassing video's appear for all the world to see.

This morning I'm taking a shower, washing my hair. I look up to see graffiti all over the tile!!!

Someone (obviously) "borrowed" the granddaughters soap crayons, "Have A Great Day".
I smile
I laugh
I almost cry

The people I live with are such a blessing.

The Cook

2009-02-24T19:52:00.002-05:00

Tonight's dinner was brought to you by.............

TACO BELL

rofl

Lift in Prayer

2009-02-24T09:13:00.002-05:00

Baby Luke and his family

God Speaks

2009-02-20T12:27:00.009-05:00

I spent some time this morning trying to contact Jennifer.
She was released from the hospital; I am told that she is refusing placement and treatment recommendations.

A few moments ago, I flipped the page on my "desktop" devotional:
"When we release our children into the Father's hands, and acknowledge that He is in control of their lives and ours, both we and our children will have greater peace."

Thank you, Lord.

Giving Up More ....

2009-02-20T10:01:00.003-05:00

#2 will be leaving home in a few weeks, and I have finally resolved to give up "mother guilt" about cooking.

Because of OUR schedules, many nights we get home from our day, 7 or 8 p.m. or later - even if it's not a night of late meetings or events, I'm just not emotionally into preparing, cooking and cleaning up a traditional MEAL. Thus far, no one has starved to death.

After all these years, I'm changing my attitude. Instead of feeling like I failed at this aspect of parenting, we'll just have fun with our peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and CELEBRATE the few days when we do cook a meal.

Boar's Head is my FRIEND!!!

February 17, 2009

2009-02-17T12:37:00.002-05:00

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, "you are my servant"; I have chosen you and not rejected you.

So do not fear. for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
(Is 41: 9-10)

He speaks to me, in His promises to the ancients
Lord, what is your will for me today?

Happy Birthday, Walker!!

2009-02-10T23:38:00.004-05:00

Walker John arrived by C-Section at 9:09 p.m.
weighing in at 6 lbs 7 oz and is 19 inches.

Mom and Dad and baby are well.

Praise God!

Bumper Sticker Philosophy

2009-02-05T09:30:00.007-05:00

it's a wooHoo day. again.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please disregard the black sock which is hanging on the side of my purse (hmmmmmmmm which child is wearing only one sock today???) And yes, it is "sock weather" in South Florida today.

Hi From South Florida in January!!

2009-01-29T01:01:00.001-05:00

The Difference Between A Man and A Woman

2009-01-24T14:50:00.003-05:00

It started with an ear of roasted corn to share with Alana. He approached saying, "If you like corn, you should come back for the CORN FESTIVAL in April", then a comment on how beautiful Alana looks just like her "momma"; "oh! you're her grandma?!!"; I knew then. but when he commented that "some of us men"..."like a woman who doesnt look like a stick" I about lost it.

I'll admit that I do not, and have never been confused with a stick, but did that guy just call me fat???

ROFL

Chasing 25

2009-01-24T14:48:00.003-05:00

(just couldn't seem to catch up)
but i did get angii sick on the rides (hehe)

An AT& T Day - for REAL!!

2009-01-24T14:14:00.008-05:00

I was picking up another prescription for a kid. And really annoyed at how much money had been spent in the past few months for medical stuff...............in the past month, well over a month's income. savings depleted again. bills coming in. one step forward, two steps back in the finance arena that is..........

That's when it happened. Standing at the counter. a horrible, terrible, snarky IMPULSE buy. Dave Ramsey would have words for me, fer sure! The girls were confused. not typical mom behavior, not a typical mom activity. "Mom, we've never been to the SF Fair, are you okay?" "NO, but were going anyway". And a Monday off from work as well.

The teens of course, arranged to meet up with friends, So I asked her Dad if Alana could come. It may have been the best eighty-nine dollars I ever spent.

OH MY GAWSH!

2009-01-11T02:04:00.003-05:00

MOM YOU'VE BEEN HACKED BY YOUR FAVORITE DAUGHTER!! ENJOY!!

(video deleted by mom)

2009-01-10T23:27:00.000-05:00

Crazy K**** Girls

2009-01-10T23:23:00.004-05:00

Playing rockstarz

The Day After Alana Moved Out

2009-01-07T22:56:00.002-05:00

This came in my Emails today. I don't know who wrote it, but i know who sent it to me..........God's timing is perfect.

DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now.. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed;

I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you because I am alive. I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.

I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

God is just so good, and he's good all the time. THANK HIM.

Britney Spears

2009-01-03T16:11:00.001-05:00

Beautiful Alana wanted to help "dramma" check her Email today.

She was sitting on my lap, checking out the keyboard and pictures.........
when she pointed and said, "eegeee" (2 year old enunciation of "Angii")
I looked and there on the bottom right of the screen was some advertisy thing with a photo of Britney Spears.

lana thinks Britney is her aunt eegee.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Winter Break"

2009-01-03T14:28:00.027-05:00

(weird week it was)

This past week Jhinel was away on a ski trip with high school and college aged youth from our church. Each day of skiing ended with dinner and a youth conference. The musical group Shane and Shane performed. Jhinel was especially impressed with the speaker. It sounds like she had a fun trip, I like that my kids know that being a Christian includes fun. That our faith is a part of our everyday experience, and that when other's look in.....they don't have to see perfect, but they will still know that "there's something happening here". This was the snowiest and coldest year yet.

On Monday, she'll have all four of her wisdom teeth extracted. Then she can get back to the business of being a second semester high school senior - scholarship applications, IB exams, etc. In a couple of weeks we are sending her on a Chrysalis event, a spiritual weekend where she will have the opportunity to take another step in her faith walk with other young women. I feel like A finish line is just around the bend, and I'm hurryinging to equip her with additional resources for the next leg of the race. (like seventeen years of living it isn't enough all of a sudden!!)

LOL....pieces of our bible study sneaking in. Maybe the race is an "IronWoman" event.

And while she was out, Angii and I did some girl thangs together....things that typically have been MOM and NEL stuff, my Angii is growing into. Yesterday we set out for HOME DEPOT - including the Nathan's Hotdog Stand. I got A/C filters, Angii got black light bulbs for her bedroom. From there we just happened to be in the neighborhood of a spa and Angii had her first eyebrow wax. Well, she actually had both of them done. Then we took a left instead of a right and ended up at Sephora "to browse". Earlier in the week she had opted for a new hair style. The fun part is just waiting to see how long it takes folks to notice. Jhinel was pretty quick on all accounts.

When Nel's stuff came home into the shared teenage room, the new black lights came on to reveal "graffiti" all over the walls. from "I love Nick" to "Welcome Back Jhinizzle" (laundry detergent has phosphorescence which is revealed in black lights) (Today, they'll get to wash the walls)

Of course, as I type this, they are both getting back to the business of "normal", arguing like teenaged sistahs.

(Lord, have mercy!)

A Night of Little Miracles

2008-12-30T09:21:00.010-05:00

I arrived at home at 10:00pm. Angii and Alana were still up. (Hmmphf!)
I spozed it was because Angii just didn't want to deal with the nightly "going to bed tantrum". Alana is growing into the most beautiful personality, but two sticking points continue to be bedtime and hair brushing! You HAVE seen that head full of delightful curls. As soon as she sees the hairbrush and detangler, she exclaims, "yoo hur me dramma".

Angii's explanation for the delayed bedtime, "we're having so much fun". A quick game of "where's lana" whilst I prepare for the battle. "Time to go to bed, Miss Alana Lynn", then the most amazing sight as I watched her get up and walk down the hall into her (formerly my) bedroom. I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Is it a joke? Is she playing? I give her a minute and creep in to find her in gramma's "big bed" pulling the fluffy down comforter up so that she can snuggle inside. Angii joins her with a bedtime story. A smile and prayers and Alana goes to sleep.

There WILL be ice cream today!!!!
(grandma's prerogative)

Then at 3:00am as I'm tossing in my living room chair again, I realize that there is an empty bed in our house - that is, an empty bed other than the ELMO adorned toddler bed. As Jhinel is en-route to West Virginia -brrrrrrrrr, a real bed lies vacant!!! What a treat!!! And yes, I slept through the alarm going off......but it was such a wonderful rest!

Praising God in the little things!!!

Happy Birthday!

2008-12-29T00:56:00.003-05:00

A Day in The Life.............

2008-11-25T13:52:00.005-05:00

November 24, 2008.

In the past two days, Alana has asked and effectively used the potty chair twice "WHO-RAAAAAAAYYY!!!"
Today myNel announced that she has been nominated by her school for the Pathfinder Scholarship/Award.

My life is so cute.

Thank you, Father.

A Confession

2008-11-18T09:36:00.007-05:00

Yes, I am stressed. Somehow, it feels a bit "unChristian" to admit that. And I've come to the conclusion that it's easier to be ill myself than to go through the same with my children.

Please lift in Prayer today:
Jennifer (she had a colposcopy last friday)
Jhinel - who is in severe back pain (we are waiting on the appointment for an MRI, she recently finished a course of physical therapy)
Holly and Walker and family for a healthy pregnancy
Alana Lynn (she's two and living with her grandmother!! - nuf said)
Baby Luke that his lungs will heal - and his family who are waiting for him to come home.

UPDATE 11/25: Jhinel's MRI showed a herniated disk. She is being referred to a pain management program. Our doctor said this is certainly better than what could have come back. So far her ski trip and softball season can stay on the calendar, but no conditioning until after we meet with the specialist. Please keep her in prayer.

Who Said It?

2008-11-06T19:05:00.003-05:00

"We'd better stop before she asks us to sing this at her funeral"

(in a very distorted Bri-ish accent): "no tissues for your issues"

(They're crazy I tell ya!!)

Chickens and Pirates and Lions..... oh my!!

2008-11-01T11:49:00.007-04:00

(The mime is not mine, but we often pick em up as we go!)
I LOVE CHICKEN!!!!

Treasures

2008-10-11T16:31:00.002-04:00

Younguns who aren't mine call me "mom"
What an awesome blessing this is.

Funny............the things that we think of as treasure as we get older!

Date Night

2008-10-11T16:27:00.009-04:00

A football game and ice cream date with a the most beautiful band nerd, her kid sister, neice and Jeni!! The perfect Friday night. K-girls rule!

and who WAS that "cross-dressing (?)" fool that Katherine brought over on Wednesday??? (yes, he IS wearing a tiara!!!) hehe

(Thank you, Father)

September 2008

2008-09-20T17:16:00.001-04:00

Almost Two

2008-09-13T10:58:00.003-04:00

She sang to me all the way home. Her enunciation is limited, but the tune and the gestures are unmistakable. It' funny how quickly those pre-school songs come back to me.

I'll be glad when she can go home to her mommy, and I can be a real grandma again.

And I'll miss her.

September 11

2008-09-11T17:24:00.006-04:00

Just a bit ago, I realized that I'm having an attitude problem this afternoon.

It's curriculum night at my daughter's school. And I'm mad.
I'm of the opinion that September 11th should be a national holiday.
As it's not, I want the "officials" to at least let us spend the evening at home with our families; or at a church with friends; or on the beach.

But a "good mommy" goes to curriculum night and meets the teachers, rushing around campus with a thousand other parents. So that was my plan. leave work at 3:30 to pick up Angie from School; drop her off at home. Go back to work. Have her meet me at my office at 5:30. Pick up Alana at daycare. Pick up Jhinel from high school. And to the scheduled event.

When I picked Angie up, I said "do your homework and meet me at my office at 5:30" at which point she said she couldnt go to school tonight. The administration had made it clear that students were to stay home to accomodate all of the parents. I'm guessing that if they don't want Angie there, then my granddaughter and myNel aren't welcome either. By the time I pick them up and get them home and get to school, they should pretty much be wrapping up the event.
oh well, so much for being a "good mom"
I guess I'll just go home and spend the evening with my family. which is really what I wanted to do afterall.

Seven years ago this day, we pined to see our kids and our spouses and to take them home. We stood in line to give blood. We went to church together as family and friends and prayed. On that day thousands of Americans went off to work or off to school or on a plane and didn't have the opportunity to come home to their families. Because of hate.

Today, I almost thought that we'd forgotten.
I cried. I'm going home with my kids!

Update on Jennifer

2008-08-27T13:05:00.004-04:00

She is scheduled to be at residential treatment until mid-September. She had an intake at a halfway house today and was accepted - this means that when she leaves the residential program she will have an opportunity to be in a safe place while she continues outpatient treatment, gets a job and finds an apartment.

She sounded so great last night, happy, excited about life.......I asked her when was the last time she felt this way. Her response, "I don't remember........maybe five years ago".

Praise God!!! Praise God!!! Praise God!!!
Praying that Jennifer continues to heal and that Alana can live with her mommy soon!

Tuesday: Quick Update

2008-08-26T17:13:00.012-04:00

August 23, 2008
Nel drove on I-95!!! :-)

August 25, 2008
After breakfast an Alana initiated trip to the potty chair - and success!!!!

August 26, 2008
This morning I commented that I feel as though my home has been invaded by aliens - partly due to the fact that I'm sorting and cleaning and organizing a car full of personal effects, loaded by Jennifer in a frenetic escape.

MyNel's response was...................uhhhhhhhh, mom you have!!!
Having had my feelings validated, I actually felt better!!!!! (lol)

Yes, Alana Lynn is living with us while her mommy is seeking help with addiction to opiate pain medication.

August 18, 2008

2008-08-18T15:13:00.005-04:00

First day of school
First hurricane of the season

http://www.noaa.gov/

August 17, 2008

2008-08-18T01:49:00.003-04:00

Beautiful Alana Lynn - playing at church

July 28, 2008

2008-07-28T15:06:00.005-04:00

Today "myNel" is seventeen
She (finally) (insert rolling momma eyes here) got her driving permit
Today she "officially" became an organ donor
and she pre-registered to vote

What a special day today is.

Jeni's Mom's Wish List

2008-07-23T17:17:00.003-04:00

Sleep
diapers/pull-ups
Jeni's healing/recovery
more hugs from Alana
PRAYERS

Jeni's Wish List

2008-07-23T17:13:00.004-04:00

Blanket
Cigarettes
Laundry soap
Nail polish remover
tweezers
quarters
shampoo and conditioner
T-shirts Xsmall
Pajamas Xsmall
Granola bars
Lollipops
Werthurs original
Chocolate
Cash for snack machines and weekly take out meal

This Moment

2008-07-23T17:05:00.005-04:00

Things that I am grateful for at this very moment:

Butterflys
"runts" - tropical flavored
TEENAGERS!!!!

Fun Things to Do When the Kids are Away

2008-07-05T01:56:00.003-04:00

take Alana to dinner at papa's
go wedding dress shopping with Holly
go to "Build-A-Bear" with no kids!! (hehe)
hang out at the mall

Who Said It???

2008-07-03T16:35:00.001-04:00

"Never inspect the teeth of a gift horse."

2008-07-02T14:43:00.001-04:00

Another wonderful attribute of teenagers...........................

They don't wake me up at 3:30am and say, "Grandma, PLAY!"

2008-07-02T14:32:00.001-04:00

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthinas 10:31

Another Day, Another Blessing or Three

2008-07-01T00:33:00.006-04:00

This morning the girls let me kiss them when I dropped them off for their trip to camp.

As we were waiting to pray and send them off, I remembered that my mom made this Monday morning trip last year as I had been released from the hospital on Saturday.

Which reminded me that I have been cancer free for a year!

Dinner with Dad and Nancy. Her last day of "work" - a celebration of retirement!

And a sleepover with my beautiful granddaughter!

God is Good
(all of the time)
and today he was especially kind to me.

ETB!

1860

2008-06-27T14:39:00.002-04:00

Mynel is officially a Senior in High School
And she got her SAT scores today! oh my ........this is becoming more real each day!

I'm excited for her!
I'm proud of her!

I promise that I am smiling through these tears.

Vacation

2008-06-27T14:37:00.002-04:00

My favorite part of vacation was cooking for my family!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

2008-06-13T15:31:00.009-04:00

Monday we got home at 1:30am
Tuesday I got home at 10:30pm
Wednesday we got home at 9:30pm
Thursday we got home at 8:30pm

This is why I need to go AWAY for a vacation.
'Cept the girls are trying to schedule activities for our week away!
Should be interesting to see how it all turns out

June 9, 2008

2008-06-11T14:13:00.002-04:00

My "almost seventeen" joined me for the game tonight. Our team lost. Mr. Ken Griffey Jr. hit #600. We had fun. Together.

I cherish these moments, especially from my "Senior" (H.S.)

An "Other" Family

2008-05-15T13:30:00.005-04:00

Three years ago an Overcomers group had prayerfully decided to discontinue meetings. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we had come together weekly to share our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly. Some had been gathering for many years. A typical meeting included prayer, a lesson or testimony, then small groups where more personal challenges and victories were shared. We prayed for each other, encouraged each other and matured in our faith-walk. Folk from all walks of life, from various churches and communities, sharing a piece of our journey.

Through these past three years, I have spordically encountered some, once in a shoe store, at a concert, at our beautician's. I'd been called to pray for a brother for healing. When I was going through my drug trial and cancer last year, beautiful Diana came each week to visit and bring dinner. She didn't care that I was in my jammies, my family was truly blessed.

Recently, we got together for dinner at Beth's home.....
The first thing that I realized as I entered her home, was a sense that we'd all seen each other just last week. It was an immediate familiarity and joy to be together again. When I saw "mom"Arlene.........I cried. For some reason, she and I had bonded in special way those years ago, I dont think I understood until that moment how very much I love her. A son who was in treatment three years ago was vibrant and healthy and married! Children growing and grown up. Our lives moving into new directions.

After dinner, well, after DESSERT we gathered in one room, we prayed and then took turns updating the others on our lives since our last meeting, then prayed again. It was a very special evening.
Since than, I have found myself wishing........that everyone could have this kind of extended family.

New Shoes for me!!!

2008-05-15T13:22:00.002-04:00

I got two new pair of shoes this week........and they're girly shoes!!!
It was so nice of myNel to clean out her closet!!!

ewwwwww GROSS!!

2008-05-12T11:32:00.001-04:00

Who needs nose clippers when you've got HOLLY!!!